In the past
few years in the Church we have had many
psychological and sociological studies, all
attempting to explain why some priests have left
their sacred calling. I presume they have some
value but it is interesting that none of them
thought of making a biblical study of why a
priest leaves. Perhaps we could find much if we
peruse the Gospels and studied Judas.
His name was
Iscariot; no one knows exactly what that meant.
Maybe it was Sicarius, in the Greek, a dagger
bearer. In this case he would have been
classified as a revolutionist bent on driving
the Romans out of the land of Israel. But in any
case; one day a babe was born in Kerioth, a
child of promise. Friends brought gifts to the
parents and time went on and that babe of
Kerioth grew in age and he met a babe who was
born in Bethlehem who had grown in age and grace
and wisdom, and at the parting of the waters,
Christ chose Judas to be an Apostle. He did not
choose him to be a traitor, but to be an
Apostle.
Almost all
studies that have been made seriously of Judas
say that the principal reason that he left is
because he was avaricious. There is indeed some
Gospel evidence for this. For, just a week
before the Passion of our Blessed Lord, the
Savior was invited into the house of Simon, the
Pharisee, and what the host saw brought a blush
to his cheek. He looked up and saw a woman who
was an intruder. Outside, friends could come and
stand along the wall and listen to a
conversation at table. This woman however,
annoyed him to some extent. He would not have
minded it if anyone else had been there; but the
Rabbi, what would he think of it.
She was a
woman, a sinner. Her hair was long and she did
not attempt to brush it back. As she came toward
the table, and in those days everyone reclined
at table on the left arm leaving the right arm
free to eat, she came and stood over the feet of
our Blessed Lord and let fall upon the sandaled
harbingers of peace, a few tears like the first
warm drops of a summer rain. Then ashamed of
what she had done, she attempted to wipe away
the tears with her hair. All the while Simon was
thinking to himself,
“If He only
knew what kind of a woman she is.”
How did he
know?
She took from
about her neck, a small vessel. In those days
women carried precious perfume about the neck in
a bottle and when they attended funeral rites,
they would break the bottle over the remains and
then after allowing the perfume to fall upon the
corpse, they would throw even the remains of the
bottle onto the body. And she releases from her
neck, this vessel of precious ointment but does
not do what you and I do, pour it out gently
drop-by-drop by drop, as if to indicate by the
slowness of our giving, the generosity of our
gift. She broke the vessel… gave everything. For
love knows no limits.
Judas all the
while got a whiff of this perfume. Oscar Wilde
describes a syniac as one who knows the price of
everything and the value of nothing. And he
immediately fixed a price, three hundred days
wages. This perfume let me tell you, was no
ordinary smell #5. So Judas now becomes the
defender of the social order. He breaks up the
routine of the dinner by saying,
“Why wasn’t
this sold; sold for three hundred pennies worth
and given to the poor?”
The poor! I
can imagine that he probably went on and argued
in some such way as this,
“I heard you
on the mount of the Beatitudes say, Blessed are
the poor. Where is your love for the poor now?
Have you forgotten all those fishermen sheks
that are laying in the Sea of Galilee? Remember
all those huts that were hugging the highway
between Jerusalem and Jericho; are you mindful
of those? Have you forgotten the inner city of
Jerusalem; it’s slums? Where is Your love of the
poor?”
The Lord
answered,
“The poor you
have always with you; Me, you will have not
always; and what this good woman has done was
done for My burial and it will be told about her
around the world.”
Here is
another instance of an emphasis on social
justice when there is a forgetfulness of
individual justice.
A bishop, one
day came to me with a letter written by a priest
in his office. It was two or three pages long,
single space. A very vicious attack on the
bishop because he had no interest in ecumenism;
particularly because he had no concern for the
poor. Well, I knew that the bishop did have
concern for the poor, ecumenism as well. And I
said to him.
“Why don’t you
find out how much he stole?”
Actually he
stole over $25,000.00 from the chancery and then
stole a wife who was a mother of four children.
It was the story of Judas lived all over again.
So, the
argument that Judas fell because he was
avaricious does seem to have some substance.
But…does avaricious really make a priest fall?
As a matter of fact, in the history of the
Church avaricious men have stayed in. Sometimes
the Church can be a comfortable haven for the
avarice. Furthermore, avarice is an old man’s
sin; sin of youth is lust and middle age, power.
Old age avarice, for it is a kind of economic
immortality. See how well I have provided for
myself. And, Judas was not an old man. Avarice
therefore, cannot have been the cause of his
leaving. What then was the cause?
Can you think
of the first time that the fall of Judas is
mentioned in the Gospels; the very first time?
If you can recall that moment then you can have
the answer to why there is a break in the
priesthood. Where is the first mention of the
fall of Judas? The day our Lord announced the
Eucharist! When did Judas leave? The night our
Lord gave the Eucharist! He broke at the
announcement of the Eucharist; as a matter of
fact, that was a critical moment in the life of
our Blessed Lord. When He announced the
Eucharist He lost the masses because He refused
to be a bread King. Secondly, He lost some of
his disciples; they left him and walked no more.
Finally He split His Apostolic band. And here is
the end of the story in the announcement of the
Eucharist.
Conclusion of
the 6th chapter of John,
And when the
disciples withdrew and no longer went about with
Him, Jesus asked the twelve,
“Do you also
want to leave me?
Simon Peter
answered,
“Lord to whom
shall we go? Your words are the words of Eternal
Life. We have faith and we know that you are the
Holy One of God.” And Jesus answered, “Have I
not chosen you? All twelve? Yet, one of you is a
devil!” He meant Judas, the son of Simon
Iscariot. He it was who would betray Him and he
was one of the twelve.
When do
priests begin to break? When they lose their
faith in the Eucharist! It is not seen, it is
not commented upon, a dozen other explanations
will be given and the faith is generally lost
long before others see the loss. There is
predictability about those who leave the
priesthood as is evident from this 6th chapter
of John.
Our Blessed
Lord had to live with this man for two years
yet; think of it! He did not say who the devil
was, He merely said, “One of you is the devil.”
John, later on of course wrote the name. Now you
know why we have centered this retreat on the
Eucharist. There has never yet been a priest,
who daily kept his faith in the Eucharist by
watching an hour with the Lord who ever left
him; no priest ever will! And those who are
thinking of leaving… and I have many such
letters in my possession about such men, from
such men, who have come back because they
restored their faith in the Eucharist.
So, this is
the beginning of the break but they stay in. As
I told you Demas left, he went back to the world
as Paul simply put it, but others will destroy
from within. A young priest told me within six
months after his ordination, “I was ordained to
try to destroy the Church from within.” If they
would only leave, but they stay.
Now we come to
the Last Supper and Judas leaves the priesthood.
The seating arrangement of the table was one in
which certainly John sat at the right. Who sat
at the left? Judas! Now I will prove this to
you. In the painting of Leonardo Divinci, Judas
is down the table, I think about the fourth and
upsetting the salt. And from that time on it
became bad luck to upset the salt. He was
holding his money bag but I think Our Lord
always anxious to save us said to him, “Here
Judas, sit near Me.” Where was Peter? On the
other side of John.
Our Blessed
Lord now washes the feet of His disciples. There
are seven gestures mentioned; I think it is the
beginning of the 13th chapter of John. As Our
Lord washes the feet during supper, Jesus was
well aware that the Father had entrusted
everything to Him and that He had come from God
and was going back to God. Now get the picture
of the Incarnation here, (rose from the table as
if God the Son was now prepared for the
Incarnation), laid aside His garments, (the
glory of His Divinity,) taking a towel which is
the mark of a servant, a slave, (tying humanity
about Himself, tied it round Him,) poured water
into a basin, (poured out His blood,) washed His
disciples feet, (cleansed us,) wiped them with a
towel, (the purification of the spirit). It is
interesting to compare this passage with the
second chapter of Philippians, verse 6 which was
a hymn in the Church, verse 6 and on in
Philippians.
And Our
Blessed Lord, after washing the feet of His
disciples said, “You are clean, but not all. One
of you is about to betray Me.” Ten said, “Is it
I Lord?” In the Face of Divinity no one can be
sure of his innocence. One said, “Who is it
Lord?” We will come back to that later on. And
one said, “Who is it Master.” St. Paul tell us
that it is only by the Spirit that we can call
Jesus, Lord. Eleven called Him Lord, one,
Master. Now at this particular time there was
whispering going on and you will understand why
the seating arrangement was as it is here
described.
When Our Lord
said, “One of you is about to betray me, Peter
always curious and inquisitive had to be in on
everything; he just couldn’t bear the suspense.
If he were seated next to our Lord, you may be
sure that Peter would have said. “Who is it
Lord?” But Peter, says the Gospel, turns to John
and said, “Ask Him who it is?” He asked John to
ask and John said, “Who is it Lord, who is it?”
And the Lord said, “It is he to whom I will
reach this bread after I have dipped it in the
sauce.” That is the way toasts were paid in
those days; the bread was dipped in the sauce
and given to a friend, the assumption being that
they who ate the same bread were one body. Our
Blessed Lord at that dipped the bread and gave
it to Judas and said, “What you are about to do,
do quickly.” Then Satan entered into Judas and
the Gospel says, “And Judas went out and it was
night.” It is always night when we leave the
Lord.
None of the
other Apostles at table knew what was happening
because the Gospel tell us that they thought
Judas had gone out either to buy food for the
Passover or else to give money to the poor. In
other words, do not expect that anyone who is
satanic looks satanic. You would never think
that anyone who is going out to conduct the
Liturgy, to prepare the Liturgy, was satanic.
You wouldn’t think that anyone who was going out
to distribute alms was satanic, but Satan was in
him. Then it is after he leaves that our Blessed
Lord pronounces that word “now”. “Now Father,
glorify Thy Son with the glory that I had with
thee before the foundation of the world was
laid.”
The Lord now
prepares to go down to the garden; there is only
one recorded time in the life of our Blessed
Lord that He ever sang and that was the night He
went out to His death! They go into the garden,
He thought He could depend on three, Peter,
James and John; John rather loving, Peter loyal
in an intense kind of way, James ready always to
follow leadership, but He told them to watch and
pray. “Watch!” (Look out for the external
environment…that is your horizontal problem.}
“Pray!”…(Vertical attachment to Heaven.) And
they slept! Men who are worried do not sleep,
but they slept. Three times our Blessed Lord
came back to them and said, “Can you not stay
awake one hour with Me?”
Now on the
hill opposite the garden one can catch the sight
of lanterns and a group of men, the Greek word
that is used, spira, would rather suggest that
there were about two hundred in this army of
Judas. It is a full moon, very easy to
distinguish anyone. Further more, our Lord was
well known in Jerusalem, everyone saw him, at
least on Palm Sunday. And as Judas leads his
band of ruffians down the hill he says, “I will
give you a sign, a sign. He whom I shall kiss,
that is He. Lay hold of Him.” Why did he have to
give a sign, a kiss? Somehow or another when we
leave the Lord we never understand Him, we
forget His Divinity, we forget His wisdom and we
forget His love. And Judas thought our Blessed
Lord, coward that He was, would run back into
the olive grove hiding in the dark. And so he
would have to flush Him out and in the darkness
he would give them a sign, he would kiss Him.
And our Lord comes forward, “Who do you seek?”
‘Jesus of Nazareth!” “I AM!” (Exodus) And they
all fall backwards until He gives them strength
to stand.
And Judas then
throws his arms around the neck of our Blessed
Lord and blisters His lips with a kiss. And the
original word that is used in the Gospel is
means he smothered Him with kisses. (So, books
are written; I love the Church BUT!) “Hail,
Rabbi,” and then he kissed Him. Why the kiss?
Because Divinity is so sacred that its betrayal
must always be prefaced by some mark of
affection and esteem.
The Lord is
arrested, led over the brook of Kedron; a story
we will tell about in the last Holy Hour. And
Judas had found his Lord because the Gospel
tells us that our Lord was often accustomed to
go there to pray. Only those who have been
cradled in the sacred association of the Church
know how to betray. Judas knew where to find the
Lord after dark, and in all the great
apocalyptic literature, Robert Hugh Benson,
Soloviev, and Doesteovsky. The betrayal of
Christ in His Church is always From within,
not from without. In Benson, it was a Cardinal,
in Doesteovsky it was a Cardinal, and in
Soloviev it was a Cardinal. The title means
nothing but the fact is, he was a priest. These
writers made the priest one who had been at the
top.
Who will ever
forget Doesteovsky’s description of Christ
coming to the city of Seville in about the 16th
Century? The Grand Inquisitor is a wisened old
Cardinal over ninety years of age. And when our
Blessed Lord returns he sees a child being
brought into a Church. He raises the child to
life and the Grand Inquisitor reminds Him that
He came to bring freedom but people did not want
to be free. They really want to be slaves of
something. And he said, “Tomorrow we will burn
You. Leave and never come back.” And our Lord
bent over and kissed the whitened cheeks of the
old cardinal and for the first time in many
years blood came to his cheeks. And once again
he said, “Never again come back.”
Is it any
wonder then that St. Peter along with Ezekiel in
the Old Testament speak of the destruction of
the Temple and the persecution of the Church is
coming from within. Ezekiel said, “Incipite a
sanctuario meo,” and St. Peter; “Begin at my
sanctuary.” Begin there in the sanctuary, and
that was what was first destroyed when Titus and
Vespasian took over Jerusalem. And Peter said
that’s the way it will be at the end.
Judas now has
his money but not very much, $17.40. Divinity is
always betrayed out of all proportion to its due
worth, always a ridiculous figure. So when a man
gives up his priesthood what does he get? He
gets $500.00 in royalties for a book attacking
the Church, an hour on television to make light
of it and celibacy. Three thousand nights in bed
and he is sick of it all. Judas was sick of it
all, took back his thirty pieces of silver and
sent them rolling across the temple floor and he
said, “Look, you do it.” All that it was fit for
was to buy a field of blood. And he might have,
if he had just a spark of faith, have received
pardon and forgiveness from the Lord, Who would
forgive such betrayals seventy times seven.
It is
interesting to make a comparison of Peter and
Judas. Our Lord warned both that they would
fail. They both failed, they both denied or
betrayed the Lord and they both repented. But
the difference in the word repent is that Judas
repented unto himself and Peter repented unto
the Lord. They were the same up to that point.
St. Paul therefore says there are two kinds of
sorrow, the sorrow of the world and the sorrow
of true faith. So Judas no longer has any hope
having refused to return to the Savior and he
takes a rope and goes out to some rocky ground,
we know not where it was.
I wonder,
maybe…and here I am only speculating, up to this
point I have used the Gospel. After Good Friday
did he throw the rope over one of the beams of
the Cross? We know he fell from the rocks and
was burst asunder. That we do not know; it is
mere speculation. That speculation was confirmed
a few years ago when the cook of one of our
bishops in China, who had been with him for
about twenty five years, When the Communists
came in the cook sold out to the Communists and
became a sheriff and, he became the sheriff
prisoner of the bishop and the bishop died on
the death march. The cook, in remorse went to
the Chapel of the Bishop and threw a rope over
the rafter and hanged himself. He went back as
it were, to the scene of his crime.
Leaving aside
this speculation because that is all it is,
Judas now is full of despair and he walks over
the rocky ground and each rock seem just as hard
and cruel as his own heart. The limb of every
tree seemed like a pointing finger, “Traitor,
traitor, traitor!” The knot on every tree seemed
like an accusing eye. And he hanged himself and
as the Acts of the Apostles tells us, his bowels
burst asunder. “And he went to his own place.”
That is all… his own place. Everything has its
own place. You open the cage of a bird and the
bird goes to its own place. You drop a stone
from the hand and the stone goes to its own
place. We do not know what this propriam locum
was of Judas but we do know the reason of the
fall and may that reason sharpen the resolution
of our will so that we will not fail the
Eucharist. If we could read the hearts of those
who have left, faith broke, it snapped somewhere
making light of the Eucharist, anything at all
but no longer the sense of the invisible and the
beautiful presence of Christ.
And the great
tragedy of the life of Judas, one of the twelve,
is that he might have been Saint Judas.
Transcribed
by "Denise Wood" and were used with permission.