Freedom Through Surrender ©

We have in Saint Mary Magdalen a true model of repentance. She remained mute at Jesus' feet, to show us that not words, but the deep emotions of the heart have value in repentance. She was at the feet of Jesus, to teach that repentance should be sanctified by humility. She bathed His feet with tears, anointed them with perfumes, and dried them with her hair, to show that we must sacrifice to repentance all that has been a cause of sin to us.

“To those who have been far away from the sacrament of Reconciliation and forgiving love, I make this appeal: Come back to this source of grace; do not be afraid! Christ himself is waiting for you. He will heal you; arid you will be at peace with God!" (Homily of pope John Paul II on September 13, 1987, at Westover Hills, San Antonio, Texas).

The basic requirement for a good Confession is to have the intention of returning to God like the Prodigal son and of acknowledging our sins with true sorrow before his representative, the priest.

Examination of Conscience

Examine your conscience. Recall your sins. Calmly ask yourself what you have done with full knowledge and full consent against God's Commandments.

Did I receive holy Communion in the state of mortal sin or without the necessary preparation?

Did I seriously believe in something superstitious or engage in a superstitious practice (palm-reading or fortune telling for instance)?

Did I put my faith in danger without a good reason-by reading a book, pamphlet, or magazine that contains material contrary to Catholic faith or morals?

Did I endanger my faith by joining or attending meetings of organizations opposed to the Catholic faith (non-Catholic services, Freemasonry, "new age" cults, or other religions)? Did I take part in one of its activities?

Have I committed the sin of sacrilege (profanation of a sacred person, place or thing)?

THE SECOND COMMANDMENT

Did I fail to try my best to fulfill the promises and resolutions that I made to God?

Did I take the name of God in vain? Did I make use of God's name mockingly, jokingly, angrily, or in any other irreverent manner?

Did I make use of the Blessed Virgin Mary's name or another saint's name mockingly, jokingly, angrily, or in any other irreverent manner?

Have I been a sponsor in Baptism or participate actively in other ceremonies outside the Catholic Church?

THE THIRD COMMANDMENT

Have I without sufficient reason, arrived at Mass so late that I failed to fulfill the Sunday or holy Day of obligation?

Did I allow myself to be distracted during Mass, by not paying attention, looking around out of curiosity, etc.?

Have I performed any work or business activity that would inhibit the worship due to God, the joy proper to the Lord's Day, or the appropriate relaxation of mind and body, on a Sunday or a holy day of obligation?

Have I neglected to teach my children their prayers, send them to church, or give them a Christian education?

Have I neglected to watch over my children, to monitor their companions, the books they read, the movies and TV shows they watch?

Have I failed to see to it that my child made the First Confession and First Communion?

Have I failed to see to it that my children have received the sacrament of Confirmation?

THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT

Was I an occasion of sin for others by way of conversation, the telling of jokes religiously, racially, or sexually offensive, my way of dressing, inviting somebody to attend certain shows, lending harmful books or magazines, helping someone to steal. Etc? Did I try to repair the scandal done? .

Did I eat or drink more than a sufficient amount, allowing myself to get carried away by gluttony?

Did I consent to or actively take part in direct sterilization (tubal ligation, vasectomy, etc.)? Do I realize that this will have a permanent effect on my married life and that I will have to answer to God for its consequences?

Did I consent to, advise, or actively take part in an abortion? Was I aware that the Church punishes with automatic excommunication (latae sententiae) those who procure and achieve abortion? Do I realize that this is a very grave crime?

Did I desire revenge or harbor enmity, hatred, or ill feelings when someone offended me?

Did I consent to evil desires against the virtue of purity, even though I may not have carried them out? Were there any circumstances that aggravated the sin: affinity (relationship by marriage), consanguinity (blood relationship), either the married state or the consecration to God of a person involved?

Did I look for fun in forms of entertainment that placed me in proximate occasions of sin, such as certain dances, movies, shows, or books with immoral contents? Did I frequent houses of ill repute or keep bad company?

Did I realize that I might already have been committing a sin by placing myself in a proximate occasion of sin, such as sharing a room with a person I find sexually attractive, or being alone with such a person in circumstances that could lead to sin?

Did I fail to take care of those details of modesty and decency that are the safeguards of purity?

Did I fail, before going to a show or reading a book, to find out its moral implications, so as not to put myself in immediate danger of sinning and in order to avoid distorting my conscience?

Did I willfully look at an indecent picture or cast an immodest look upon another or myself? Did I willfully desire to commit such a sin?

Did I commit an impure act? By myself, through masturbation (which is objectively a mortal sin)? With someone else? How many times? With someone of the same or opposite sex? Was there any circumstance of relationship {such as affinity) that could have given the sin special gravity? Did this illicit relationship result in pregnancy? Did I do anything to prevent or end that pregnancy?

Do I have friendships that are habitual occasions of sexual sins? Am I prepared to end them?

In courtship, is true love my fundamental reason for wanting to be with the other person? Do I live the constant and cheerful sacrifice of not putting the person I love in danger of sinning? Do I degrade human love by confusing it with selfishness or mere pleasure?

Did I engage in acts such as "petting," "necking," passionate kisses, or prolonged embraces?

Did I, without serious reason deprive my spouse of the marital right? Did I claim my own rights in a way, which showed no concern for my spouse's state of mind or health? Did I betray conjugal fidelity in desire or in deed?

Did I take "the pill" or use any other artificial birth control device before or after new life had already been conceived?

Did I without grave reason, with the intention of avoiding conception, make use of marriage on only those days when offspring would not likely be engendered?"

Did I suggest to another person the use of birth-control pills or another artificial' method of preventing pregnancy (like condoms)?

Did I have a hand in contributing to the contraceptive mentality by my advice, jokes, or attitudes? (On abortion, contraception, sterilization, etc., see also THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT).

Did I steal? How much money? Or how much was the object worth? Did I give it back, or at least have the intention of doing so? . Have I done or caused damage to another person's property? To what extent?

Did I harm anyone by deception, fraud, or coercion in business contracts or transactions?

Did I unnecessarily spend beyond my means? Do I spend too much money because of vanity or caprice? .

Did I give in to laziness or love of comfort rather than diligently work or study?

Did I tell lies? Did I repair any damage that may have resulted as a consequence of this?

Did I sin by detraction, that is, by telling the faults of another person without necessity?

Shorter Examination of Conscience

Did I willfully and seriously doubt my faith or put myself in danger of losing it by reading literature hostile to Catholic teachings or by getting involved with non-Catholic sects?

Did I miss Mass on a Sunday or a holy" day of obligation through my own fault, without any serious reason?

Was I selfish in how I treated others especially my spouse, my brothers and sisters, my relatives, or my friends?

Did I willfully entertain impure thoughts or feelings? Did I commit impure acts, alone or with others?

Did I take contraceptive or abortifacient pills, or use other artificial means in order to prevent conception?

Did I steal or damage another's property? How much? Have I made reparation for the damages done? Have I been honest in my business relations?

Did I sin by slander? By detraction - telling unknown grave faults of others without necessity?

Did I judge others rashly in serious matters? Have I tried to make restitution for any dam age of reputation that I have caused? .

If you remember other serious sins besides those indicated here, include them also in your Confession:

Before Confession

The essential act of Penance, on the part of the penitent, is contrition, a clear and decisive rejection of the sin committed, together with a resolution not to commit it again, out of the love one has for God (which is reborn with repentance). Understood in this way, contrition is, therefore, the beginning and the heart of conversion, of that evangelical metanoia which brings the person back to God like the Prodigal Son returning to his father, and which has in the sacrament of Penance Its visible sign, and which perfects attrition (imperfect contrition – born of the consideration of sin’s ugliness or the fear of eternal damnation and other penalties threatening the sinner) [Cf. John Paul II, Apostolic Exhortation Reconciliatio of Paenitentia, 31, 1983.; cf. CCC, 1453].

The resolution to avoid committing these sins in the future (amendment) is a sure sign that your sorrow is genuine and authentic.

This does not mean that one has to promise never to fall again into sin. A resolution to try to avoid the near occasions of sin suffices for true repentance. God's grace in cooperation with the intention to rectify your life will give you the strength to resist and overcome temptation in the future.

Act of Contrition

0 my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell; but most of all because they offend you, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of your grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.

During Confession

You can begin your confession by making the Sign of the Cross and greeting the priest: "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."

The priest gives you a blessing. One response you might give is these words St. Peter said to Christ: “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you" (Jn 21:17). One then continues with the time since one’s last confession: "My last good confession was... (approximately how many weeks, months or years)."

Say the sins that you remember. Start with the one that is most difficult to say; after this it will be easier to mention the rest. If you received general absolution, tell this to the priest and mention the sins forgiven then.

If you do not know how to confess or you feel uneasy or ashamed, simply ask the priest to assist you, be assured that he will help you to make a good confession. Simply answer his questions without hiding anything out of shame or fear. Place your trust in God: he is your merciful Father and wants to forgive you.

If you do not remember any serious sins, be sure to confess at least some of your venial sins, adding at the end: “I am sorry for these and all the sins of my past life, especially for … (mention in general any past sin for which you are particularly sorry; for example, all my sins against charity).”

The priest will assign you some penance and give you some advice to help you to be a better Christian.

Listen to the words of absolution attentively. At the end answer: “Amen.” Be willing to do the penance as soon as possible. This penance will diminish the temporal punishment due to sins already forgiven.

After Confession

Promptly and devoutly fulfill the penance given by the priest. Although you may receive holy Communion even before performing your penance, it is advisable to do it as soon as possible.

If you recall some serious sin that you forgot to tell, rest assured that it has been forgiven with the others, but be sure to include it in your next Confession.

Rite of Confession

After the customary greetings, the penitent crosses himself:

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

The priest urges the penitent to have confidence in God. The priest may say:

May the Lord be in your heart and help you to confess your sins with true sorrow.

Either the priest or the penitent may read or say by heart some words taken from the holy Scripture about the mercy of God and repentance, e.g.:

"Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you (John 21:17),"

The penitent accuses himself of his sins. The priest gives opportune advice, imposes the penance on him, and invites the penitent to manifest his contrition. The penitent may say, for example:

Lord Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

The priest gives him the absolution: God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church, may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

The penitent answers: Amen The priest dismisses the penitent with this or any of the alternative formula:

May the Passion of our Lord Jesus Christ, the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary and of all the saints, whatever good you do and suffering you endure heal your sins, help you to grow in holiness, and reward you with eternal life. Go in peace.

The penitent should fulfill the penance imposed.

Source: Handbook of Prayers. Rev. James Socias, General Editor. Scepter Press and Midwest Theological Forum. Used with permission.